I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
