So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
