Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
