Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
