I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
