Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
