I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
