community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize