He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
