By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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