Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
