So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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