Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
