Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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