My hand turned me down
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize