I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I look better un-naked...
honey bunches of taint.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
