i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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