What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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