Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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