I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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