i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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