It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
