two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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