I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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