She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
