Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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