no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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