Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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