Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
