I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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