I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize