Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
