Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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