You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
