One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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