I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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