I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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