epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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