do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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