Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
