Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
