Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
