So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
