I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
