i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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