Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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