Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
