Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
