hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize