Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
