next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
