Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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