Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
