did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
