FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
