feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
