this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
