Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize