Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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