so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
