Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I love you. Go after that dick
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize