Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Boobs are out for the taking
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize