That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
