Who did Billy Mays play for?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
