I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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