i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
