is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
