So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
