omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
