Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
